Words, 9 Q and 1 A
I liken current living to schizophrenic episodes one after the other of active remembering and unconscious forgetting. There appears a struggle to keep "the knowing" at the forefront of mind. 1)"Will it ever not feel like work"?
Like when you decide to actively take over the breathing process....it is labored and generally uncomfortable. Thank goodness attention gets channeled elsewhere so autopilot can once again establish equilibrium.
2) Is autopilot God?
3) Who is working so hard (to remember that what is happening right now is all there is)?
There is no "I" here to manage this daily living, and believe me "I" have looked for a solid me. This is the kicker for us all....the punch in the gut... that it all just happens and any idea of remembering or forgetting is life dancing the dance of you. How frightening! How maddening! How freeing! There is no control over anything...
A beautiful example of this dance is a child. Watching my (not yet 2 yr old) grandson whirl and move and emote and eat and laugh and cry is wonderful. Randomness. He does not have a true I concept yet. He is simply life living. Sometimes quiet, often chaotic....movement happening in form.
As full fledged adults with well-organized hives of thought and well-tooled mental mechanisms, the dance is rigid...often lacking joy and spontaneity. Within this "safe" construct of "our life" there sure seems to be control. Yet, the resulting dance is one of stress, insecurity, and inhibition.
4) So,there is no I....yet I am here in a seeming world in a seeming body with seeming thoughts that seem enclosed in my seeming brain. Where does it all come from? Is there a grand plan?
When I look for a me....the subject of my experience...there is nothing.....nothing but a sense of presence. A here-ness with no form or any kind of thing to grasp. When I look for a source...any sense of a place...a hierarchy of consciousness...angels and dimensions....heaven etc.... all are seen as just thoughts and stories arising and dissolving...ever changing universal phenomenality. Anything that can appear, will disappear. The Grand Plan can only be another story of goings and comings.
5) Can the Source of everything be known? Is it other than what is seeing through my eyes?
6) So what is the point of all of these appearances...birds/people/mountains/stars? Is there a purpose?
Yep, you got it......a purpose would be yet another story. Damn!!!! I sure do like stories...and meaning. Causeless, Anita says. Seamless. No cause no purpose... division-less happening. Right now. This.
7) So now what?
My little mind squirms and claws for a hold.....on some meaning....some solidity.
8) So NOW what?
It seems I can watch little mind squirming and clawing for a hold. Wait...watching is happening! This noticing allows/infers some "space" surrounding the thoughts and the minds conceptual processes. It all is seen....just seen/experienced...not analyzed. Analyzing is the realm of the squirming mind itself.
9) And NOW?
Now seems to be the answer. There is only now.....the never-ending now with it's sunshine, computer keyboard, cold coffee, slight backache, etc. Whatever is happening is all there is. Past/future are figments of the imagination. If you are anticipating an upcoming event, that is what's happening now. Regretting something that happened 10 years ago? It is only now.
The answer to every question you can imagine......is This.
Like when you decide to actively take over the breathing process....it is labored and generally uncomfortable. Thank goodness attention gets channeled elsewhere so autopilot can once again establish equilibrium.
2) Is autopilot God?
3) Who is working so hard (to remember that what is happening right now is all there is)?
There is no "I" here to manage this daily living, and believe me "I" have looked for a solid me. This is the kicker for us all....the punch in the gut... that it all just happens and any idea of remembering or forgetting is life dancing the dance of you. How frightening! How maddening! How freeing! There is no control over anything...
As full fledged adults with well-organized hives of thought and well-tooled mental mechanisms, the dance is rigid...often lacking joy and spontaneity. Within this "safe" construct of "our life" there sure seems to be control. Yet, the resulting dance is one of stress, insecurity, and inhibition.
4) So,there is no I....yet I am here in a seeming world in a seeming body with seeming thoughts that seem enclosed in my seeming brain. Where does it all come from? Is there a grand plan?
When I look for a me....the subject of my experience...there is nothing.....nothing but a sense of presence. A here-ness with no form or any kind of thing to grasp. When I look for a source...any sense of a place...a hierarchy of consciousness...angels and dimensions....heaven etc.... all are seen as just thoughts and stories arising and dissolving...ever changing universal phenomenality. Anything that can appear, will disappear. The Grand Plan can only be another story of goings and comings.
5) Can the Source of everything be known? Is it other than what is seeing through my eyes?
6) So what is the point of all of these appearances...birds/people/mountains/stars? Is there a purpose?
Yep, you got it......a purpose would be yet another story. Damn!!!! I sure do like stories...and meaning. Causeless, Anita says. Seamless. No cause no purpose... division-less happening. Right now. This.
7) So now what?
My little mind squirms and claws for a hold.....on some meaning....some solidity.
8) So NOW what?
It seems I can watch little mind squirming and clawing for a hold. Wait...watching is happening! This noticing allows/infers some "space" surrounding the thoughts and the minds conceptual processes. It all is seen....just seen/experienced...not analyzed. Analyzing is the realm of the squirming mind itself.
9) And NOW?
Now seems to be the answer. There is only now.....the never-ending now with it's sunshine, computer keyboard, cold coffee, slight backache, etc. Whatever is happening is all there is. Past/future are figments of the imagination. If you are anticipating an upcoming event, that is what's happening now. Regretting something that happened 10 years ago? It is only now.
The answer to every question you can imagine......is This.
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